Wednesday, 20 June 2007

Lesson I learnt from loosing someone to death

About 3 month ago, I lost my 30 plus y.o BIL to leukemia. Though we were not related by blood ties, but we are related by my marriage to his younger brother, my husband.
Why the impact was so great on me when he is nor the friendlier or talkative person? Reasons are we have had always a good relationship before his death. More so ever, we lost him within a short span of time . He left us after 5 days of knowing he had leukemia.

There he was , on Friday afternoon , talking on the phone from London to my hubby . He was telling us about the diagnose he just received that morning . He went to the hospital a day before, just to check up on the abscess@bisul he has been having since a few days back. Yeah , he had a bisul but end up with a leukemia.

Anyway, I’m not going to tell more on that. What I wanted to share with everyone out there , especially all the wives, is the life experience that my late BIL’s wife went through upon losing him.

For the living, life has to go on… And there were so many things to be quickly sort out with regards to the assets & liabilities left by my late BIL. Alhamdulillah, my SIL are in great hands . She has my husband and eldest BIL to help her. My late BIL was the 2nd child his family of 3 boys.

We wanted to quickly sort out every things for her, but lacked of information was holding us back. My SIL has NIL info on so many important stuffs like how many bank accounts does arwah has, which bank account is the active one, what type of insurance do they have, what are the monthly payments , how much money do they have and so on..

I can still remember that day. All the 5 of us sitting down on master bedroom floor. She was crying when she was unable to tell us more. We couldn’t blame her much for not knowing all this things as it was the late BIL who took care most important things .

My SIS led a life where all things ie. savings and paying bills are done by my late BIL. She doesn’t need to worry about whatsoever documents or bills to be paid. Hence it was difficult to gather more info from her about important documents & info. My hubby & eldest BIL had to start from zero. What worry them the most is the outstanding bills that will incur additional interest soon. In the end, we did got the necessary info but through a difficult & time consuming way.

So, to all the ladies out there, especially we , the wives, DO WE KNOW our husband’s bank account, joint accounts, house S&P documents, husbands’ EPF number and amount, etc.?

In my case, this scenario teach me to know & have more info about importants stuff like that. What I know so far is only little or blur. Is not that I don’t know much but I tend to ignore sometimes. Why? Coz I thought my hubby will always be there till we both old and frail. But now I know he may not be there …

My wish by sharing this story with you all is that Let not one of us needs to go through what my SIL had gone through.

2 comments:

Aidan's Mommy said...

both of us have the system of keeping all bills, letters etc in one place. So if any of us need to check up on something it, we know where it is.

Life is too shortkan...
Allah Maha Penyayang.

Euphoria said...

Aunty to my hubs lagi kesian, dia takde anak lelaki so husband dia meninggal tiba2 first time kena strok heart attack. So all the harta and money dapat kat adik-beradik husband, NOT the wifey and the 4 anak p'puan dia, if ikutkan hukum faraid.

Anyway it's good to learn a lesson...we also prepare in case anything would happen to him or to me, there's an insurance and shelter for us to go to..I think he might be fine, but if for me nasib baik I ada ilmu and always be prepared with the skills that have in case nak start keje balik, kan? Takpun...bisnisla beb, lagi senang!